...or "this girl knows how to party"...
Thank you for all your nice comments on my last post. C. is better. After five agonizing days in bed. And a ride in the ambulance to actually get to see the doc and find out he's got a slipped disc. He is taking a bunch of allopathic medicine, and while it's working wonders, we are looking into alternative solutions too. The doc himself pointed out that the meds were just a means to an end, to get him moving enough for his spine to readjust.
He's gonna be alright. No surgery. No MRI's. (Hopefully.) Just some pills and stretching. And a slightly terrifying insight into old age.
I realized too, after my last few posts, that I bitch a little much about summer around here. Summer is an intense time. Intensely busy. Intensely social. Intensely bright. Intensely lived.
As an introvert, it's only natural that it wears on me. In the summer, I hold my cards close to my chest. I keep more secrets then ever. I go on hideout walks and sneak into empty parking lots after work to have five minutes of quiet time with an ice cream cone and a copy of The Nation. No really, this is actually what I do for fun.
Each year I feel like I get better at dealing with being me. Being myself regardless of circumstances. Making the most how I want to be in the world.
This forced "vacation" around C.'s illness has afforded me some valuable insights, into how to cope with summer stress. Call them my summer resolutions, if you will, and remind me of them, next spring, lest I forget.
1) It's important that we take a brake. And that C. and I spend some serious time together (even if it's laying in bed together watching Planet Earth and eating popcorn because one of us is too sick to be left alone).
2) I'm happier when I spend my social time with people who's company I genuinely enjoy, feel stimulated by, can tell my mind is expanding, even if it's sloshing around in some alcohol.
3) The creative things I do, are not only sacred, but actually keep me sort of sane. I need to make time for them.
4) That I be present, pay attention to where I am right now. To stop dreaming of fall and fall into the last month of summer headfirst.
This isn't just sound self-advice for summer, it's sound advice for life.
Because at my worst I'm often learning the most, gathering skills that'll come in handy in easier times as well.
So even with harvest season on hand, I'm inside, making zines and experimenting with leather and writing weird short stories until the wee hours. But just for tonight.
I'm rejoicing in the insanity of fresh food abundance, experimenting with recipes and making weird preserves, not fretting over how much there is to do, still, after a long day of making and doing.
I'll go to parties, to dinner, to brunch, because often do I end up having a ton of fun and I can always go home. I feel like I have so much more fun doing social things, the summer things, when I give up my social anxieties and just do what I want, whether it be partying all night, or going home at nine.
Because, and I would do well to remember this more often, I'm not a self-contained organism, but part of a pack, a whole species of yammering, laughing beings.
So I'll make an effort to hang out with friends and talk about making, DIY, work, money, ideas, question things.
Make the most of it. All of it.
Make crazy big plans and tiny resolutions.
And once C. can walk again, we'll continue to take our post-dinner stroll to the beach.
We may return with more meaty posts soon. In the meantime:
How's your summer life, your social anxiety, your sense of self, your and your family's health? Because you weren't mistaken, after all; I do care.